Matthew 19:1–12
19 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
God established marriage. His purpose was that it should last for the whole of life. Jesus had been teaching his disciples. Now he had finished this special period. He left the Galilee district for the last time. He began his final journey. He was going to Jerusalem. (Read verses 1–2.) Jesus was still popular with all the people. They were enjoying his miracles. But, more and more, the authorities were against him. They wanted to stop his work. So they asked Jesus a question. They thought that this would cause trouble between those who liked Jesus. Then Jesus’ authority would be weaker.
The subject of divorce was a serious matter at the time. Herod Antipas was the ruler of Galilee. He had recently had a divorce from his wife. Then he married his brother Philip’s wife. John the Baptist said that this was wrong. Because of this, Herod put John in prison. Then, later, he ordered a soldier to cut off John’s head. (Read 14:1–12.)
Jewish teachers had different ideas about divorce. Some of these teachers were stricter. But all the Jewish teachers agreed about the fact of divorce. It was the right of every man to get a divorce from his wife. (Of course, there must be proper reasons for a divorce.)
This explained the Pharisees’ question (verse 3). They wanted Jesus to say which group was right. Jesus’ reply was very clever. He spoke about what God had first intended. God made man and he made woman. God set up the state of marriage. He intended that it should last for the whole of life. So, there should never be a divorce. (Read verses 4–6.)
Jesus answered the question well. But his enemies had not finished. This idea of Jesus did not agree with the laws of Moses. And Moses had given God’s Law to Israel’s people (verse 7). The Pharisees were hopeful that people would not follow Jesus now.
But again, Jesus spoke in a clever way. Moses had allowed people to divorce. But that did not make it right. (Read verses 8–9.) And there was something else. Moses allowed divorce because of the people’s sin. But that did not mean that divorce was right for all the people.
Then Jesus seemed to give one reason for a divorce. He seemed to say that the person could marry again too. (Read 19:9.) The woman may have had sex with another man. Then the husband would be free. This statement of Jesus still causes much discussion today. The phrase is not in Mark 10:12 or Luke 16:18. There is a possible reason for this. The book of Mark and the book of Luke were for Gentiles (non-Jews).
For Jews there were three periods to a marriage. There could be a divorce before the marriage. (This was what Joseph was going to do to Mary.) So, Jesus may have been speaking about an event that was like that.
Look at what the disciples said in verse 10. We can understand why they replied in that way. They thought that perhaps it was best not to marry at all. But it is harder for us to understand Jesus’ words in verses 11 and 12. A couple must work hard to have a good marriage. But it may not be a good thing for everyone to marry.
In Jewish society, it was usual for people to marry. But Jesus gave examples of when this might not happen (verse 12). There could be physical reasons. Or, a person might not marry because of his work for God.
But Jesus was very clear about one thing. We can be sure about it. Divorce was not in God’s original plan (19:8).
[Note: Read 1 Corinthians 7. This chapter has interesting information.]
Divorce and remarriage
There are many different ideas about this subject. They come from this passage. They also come from other passages that are in the Bible. We cannot print them all. But here are some main points.
The Bible is very clear about two things. First, God meant marriage to last for the whole of life. Second, God hates divorce. (Read Genesis 2:24 with Malachi 2:16.)
However, the Bible also shows that marriages do fail. This is because of the effects of sin. It seems that divorce is sometimes possible. (Read Deuteronomy 24:1.) But Jesus’ words in 19:9 are very strong. Someone might marry again before the death of the former partner. But this would be like the sin called ‘adultery’. (This means sex between a married person and someone who is not the partner.)
There are three main questions to discuss:
What are the reasons for divorce? In one way, there are none. Nobody has a right to get a divorce. Yet, the Bible allows divorce. But it is not clear for what reasons the Bible would allow it. There are three ideas about reasons for a divorce. First, there is the adultery of the other partner. (This is when one partner in a marriage has sex with someone else.) Or, one partner may leave the other partner. 1 Corinthians 7:15 refers to this. Another reason for divorce may include other sexual sins. Lastly, some people say that the Bible does not give specific reasons for a divorce. They say that a person and their minister (pastor) must decide. They should do this when the marriage fails completely.
Can a person marry again? Most Christians would agree that it is possible to marry again. (But many of them may feel that it is not always a good idea!) Some people believe that there is only one reason to marry again. That should be after the death of the former partner. Other people think something else. It is this. Divorce means that a person can marry again. (They may agree that the Bible’s way is the best way. So it could mean that the marriage would be wrong. But these people still feel that the couple can marry again.)
What do the words mean? We cannot discuss all of the difficulties here. But they should help us not to be sure that we are always right. We should be generous to those who do not agree with us too. This matter is very painful to some people. This is because it affects them in a personal way. We must always think about how they feel.
1. It is possible to use the Bible in the wrong way. The Pharisees often did this. They would use one passage in the Bible to oppose another passage. In this way, they could avoid the demands of God’s word. People today can think about all the difficult passages that are in the Bible. They will often discuss them. But they do not obey God’s demands. Have you ever done this?
2. Think about marriage. Think about divorce. And think about when people marry again in our time. What do you learn about this subject in your church? Does it agree with this part of the Bible?
3. Jesus was ready to say when people’s ideas were wrong. Can you do this too? What ideas would Jesus say are wrong in our time? Christians must say these things now, instead of Jesus. Are you ready to say these things?